June 17th 2007 - The Dream - My Grandmother

So a few days ago I was speaking to my Mom on the phone discussing Grandma's death.

Mom was describing what the staff at the assisted living place had told her about Grandma's last moments of life. It was described almost as if she just started coughing, choked and died within moments. I think Mom was feeling that basically Grandma had choked to death.

But EVERY TIME I tried to talk to Mom about this during our phone conversation the line would go dead so that Mom couldn't hear what I was saying.

I'd hear her say "Hello? Hello?"....

I'd stop talking about Grandma...and the line would clear.

This must have happened at least 6 times in a row!

We both laughed saying maybe Grandma was trying to tell us something. I stopped trying to talk about her body...and the phone remained clear from then on. I don't have a history of phone line troubles.

Anyway, so last night/early this morning I woke up from a very vivid dream about my Grandmother. She was talking to me and standing behind her were my Grandfather, my Uncle Johnny, and a crowd of other relatives who had passed away over the years. Most of them are buried in the same cemetery in which my Grandmother was laid to rest - thanks to a large family plot purchased by my Great Grandparents many, many, years ago.

In my dream she said to me, "I didn't choke. They came to get me, and I went. It was what I wanted." I could see almost a movie of it; my Uncle Johnny (her brother) coming for her with his hand out and my Grandfather right behind him smiling and all of the others with them. I could also feel her happiness. I'm not sure if she told me she was happy...or if I just felt it. It was a strong sensation either way.

I woke up thinking, "Wow! That sure felt real! I'll have to tell Mom." and promptly fell back to sleep.

When I woke up this morning I almost called her right away, but it was early and it's Father's Day, so I figured I'd tell her later.

But then you know how when you dream something...and wake up.....it begins to fade?

It was fading without me realizing it, until I spoke to my Mom.

Suddenly as she was about to hand the phone over to Dad for his Father's Day greeting from me, it all burst back into my mind.

I told her I wanted to tell her about a dream I had about Grandma. She and her sister had a dream about her too. I thought maybe they would all be the same dream, but they weren't.

Mom became very emotional when I told her mine....and I had a strong sense that I was supposed to have told her about it.

I'm glad it didn't slip away before I could tell her.

I always felt very bonded with my Grandmother....and I still do. I can feel her around me. It's hard to explain the sensation to anyone...but I know I'm not crazy.

Seeing her body so soon after she passed away was an odd experience for me. I had the strongest sensation that I was simply looking at her shell....like a shell on the beach. A vessel that once held life. Her spirit was no longer in her shell....she was where she should be...but still within reach in some way.

The sensation of her presence remains like a sort of whisper.