October 31st ~ Happy Halloween!

Good Morning Blog Pumpkins!
Happy Halloween to all of you. :)

October 26th ~ Wanted: Raving Lunatic

I just called hubby at work and demanded a big raise. I wasn't friendly.

Was that bitchy?

Don't get me wrong, I love being a stay at home Mom....and I do have my part time job (5 hours per week) working for the non-profit....but sometimes I think I deserve a week-long spa treatment each month just for surviving the daily morning chaos in this house.

All three of them need to be at school at different times. We plan the night before...clothes, homework etc...I give them 90 minutes to get ready because I know they don't like to be rushed (they aren't "morning people")....I try to remain pleasant......I do....I really try.....but when after warning them that we have 30 minutes until we have to leave.....5 minutes ...... 2 minutes....leaving now!....they look at me and say, (kid 3)"Do you know where my socks are" I swear...I lose it.

"They were just on your feet!"

"I know, but I stepped in water."

(kid 2) "Have you seen my report?"

"I told you last night to put it in your backpack"

"I did!" (Sobbing, crying, completely put out that I'm accusing him of not following instructions when he always does what he's told and he can't help it if outside forces come in and undo work he's done!)


"Did you have breakfast?"
(kid 1) "No, there wasn't time and I didn't know what to have"
"You couldn't have eaten the cereal and toast and juice I set out for you?" (smoke billowing from my skull)

I think I deserve a raise.

Or a Mai Tai.....or two.

October 22 ~ 9th time's the charm

"Believe you can...and you will." Those were the words on the card that my Weight Watcher's leader mailed to me the last time I missed a few meetings.

I've gotten a lot of those cards. I'm surprised they don't stamp a postage and handling fee on my butt whenever they see me coming.

I re- joined WW for the 9th time since 2001 this morning. I'm feeling very proud of myself and am trying not to celebrate my vast inner strength and superior will-power with a donut.

Have any of you ever seen Dr. Oz on Oprah? He's the doc who brings in cadaver organs and shows the audience what healthy looks like...and what diseased looks like. I love this guy. I swear he has the hots for Oprah...look out Stedman...but I digress...

I love this guy because nothing is bloody....and I hate bloody. (Shooting scenes on Little House in the Pararie are too much for me.) It all looks sterile...and scientific....and interesting. He's charming and warm and matter-of-fact and he makes me want to live a healthier lifestyle. You don't get the feeling that he is critcizing people for how they live, but rather encouraging everyone to live differently by explaining why it matters in a way that is clear and easy to grasp.

Opps ~ I just realized that my pedometer fell off the waistband of my pants. I'm trying to hit 10000 steps per day. I wonder if it fell off when I laid down to think about making my bed. I'd go look...but I'm afraid of the "force"....if I see the bed...it might force me to test it for comfort.

I realize this sounds like I'm not taking my desire to lose weight seriously.

Actually, I am.

Screw the pedometer. I took step one and rejoined WW. The biggest step is always the first one. I can count the rest of my steps anytime....so long as I continue putting one foot in front of the other.....and spraying windex on leftovers.

October 17th ~ 7 Things

7 Things I Plan to do Before I Die: (Format gleefully stolen from Inger's blog) ~ grin ~

* Get this stupid excess weight off of my bones..because really...I'm sick of it.
* Follow my long-held-always-put-off dream and become a voice-over personality for radio and TV commercials.
* Swim with dolphins.
* Travel to Ireland with hubby and the kids.
* See my children become happy, successful adults and know my grandchildren.
* Become more organized.
* Continue to make sure hubby always knows how wonderfully in love with him I am. I plan to be having an affair with him until the end.

7 things I cannot do:

* I can't enjoy shopping...unless it's for presents for people or something wickedly X-rated. lol Or I suppose if I won the Lottery....I could enjoy shopping without thought to cost! :)
* Tolerate bickering. They always need "yard duty" help at the kids' school. NO WAY would I put myself in that position. I couldn't handle it.
* I can't help being over-emotional. Happy? I cry. Sad? I cry. Completely pissed off? I cry. In the throes of an earth-shattering orgasm? I cry.
* I will never enjoy house cleaning. I wish I could.
* Laugh quietly.
* I can't tolerate racism or racist humor. I love a good joke....but not in that subject area.
* Understand algebra.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

* Integrity: Someone who does the right thing...even if no one else is doing it.
* Brains: I love to be kept on my toes....and intellect turns me on.
* Wit: Fun, verbal sparring, with laughter...what's not to like?
* Kindness :)
* Insight: Someone who sees what is inside of all people....and not just their outsides.
* A creative, erotic, active, so-hot-for-me-he-can't-walk, sex-drive
* Love of children.

7 things that I say most often:

* I love you
* Please just let me think my own thoughts for a minute!
* Oh God....yesssssss ohhhhh god...yeeeeeeesssssssssssssssss
* Did you brush your teeth and put on deodorant?
* Could you guys please help me for a minute?
* Stuff it in, cram it in, I'm never buying it again (a phrase brought to life by my Mother-In-Law)
* Ask Dad

7 celebrity crushes :

* Patrick Stewart: I'd "make it so" for him any time!
* Gene Wilder: I have always loved him ~ ever since he made Charlie's dreams come true.
* Conin O'Brien: He's such a riot...and I love his Irishy-boyish-looks
* Chris Noth: He'd be great in bed
* The Rock: This needs an explanation? I think knot (g)
* Robin Williams: Ok...he would be exhausting to know.....but oh so worth it
* Alan Rickman: Oh my ...ohhhhh my........yes...ohhhhhh yeeeeeeesssssss

7 People I wish to do this:

All of you. Please! Even you non-bloggers!

October 14 ~ Stay tuned

Hello sweet peoples. :)

Sorry I haven't posted for awhile...or had the chance to read your blogs. It's been a rough couple of weeks. I replied to your replies in my last post so check it out. But for a quick general note: my Mom is having a remarkable recovery from her Radical Hysterectomy. And she LOVED her Oncologist. Even told the nurse she thought he looked like a rock star! lol He does!

And you know how when you have abdominal surgery, the docs and nurses wait anxiously for you to begin....uh.....rippin em? (aka...passing gas) ...

So...a Resident came in to check on my Mom on Day 3 of her Hospital stay:

"Have you passed gas yet, Mrs. M?"

To which my Mom replied,

"Pull my finger."

MOM! Sheeeeeesh lol Mom only LAUGHS at jokes like that....NEVER makes them! Must have been the Morphine. (Except she was no longer on Morphine)

I hope all of you, my fellow bloginisters, are doing well. I'll catch up on my reading of your lives today and tomorrow.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words.

October 5th ~ Fee Fi Foe Fum

I'm cracking up right now as I type the title of this post, because I'm thinking of giving my sister the link to this blog....and she is so going to kick my ass for that title! LOL Keeeeeeeest!

(blurry screen fades to scene in the waiting room of the hospital)

So, two of my 3 brothers, my sister, and I, all arranged to wait with my Dad in the waiting room at the hospital while Mom went in for her Totally Radical surgery.

We're a close family, so this wasn't unusal, and we all knew that Dad was stressed and worried. My other brother would have been there too, but was unable to get out of work for the day.

What IS unusal though, is the height of my family. I'm the shrimp at 5'6", the rest of them, including my sister, all hover around 6'3". Yes...6'3". Well, except for Mom. She's 5'8". I always thought she was 5'10". (I'm measuring her when she gets home from the hosiptal because she may be trying to escape the giants. ) My sister is gorgeous, strikingly so, looks like a model. I must admit, sometimes I feel like I'm left out of the "mile high club".....although...I'd happily join the "other" version of the mile high club if someone could just provide hubby and I with a plane ticket somewhere..... anywhere...oh yessssssss!.....YES!.......oh yesssss!..... but I digress.....

Where was I?

Oh yeah...

Whenever my family goes anywhere as a group, heads turn. "Who are those giants? They look nice, but hide the kids, honey!"

It's probably the same for the Harlem Globe Trotters or NFL players.

I consider myself one of the giants. I may be their dwarfy side kick...but I'm still one of them....so when I refer to the giants.....please include me in your head. Gracias.

So, in the hospital waiting room, we sat in a corner against the back wall. My brothers moved furniture to make it more cozy. No excepting the status quo with this bunch. Giants moving furniture....just imagine. lol This gave us a place to visit, and gave room to the rest of those waiting. But I forgot to mention something...

Besides being giants, we all have rather active (and not above the gutter) senses of humor.....and we all use humor as a defense mechanism against stress.

We were REALLY stressed.

So......um.....we became REALLY funny.

It was sort of like being at the Tonight Show. The giants in the corner were laughing until tears were spewing from their eyes....and the rest of those in the waiting room were looking at their feet, trying not to laugh....but you could see their smiles. Our wait for Mom, including surgery delays etc. was about 3 and a half hours. Some of the others waiting had already been there for longer than that and had many more hours to go in waiting for their loved ones. I think, although perhaps a little obnoxious, I THINK that we giants provided a bit of comic relief.

Admittedly, a few times when my youngest brother stood to tell a story, and used full body language along with his impossible-to-lower-the-volume booming voice, I glanced around nervously thinking, "We're going to get thrown out. We must be bugging the hell out of these people." And one sweet little woman did leave and to go the other very quiet waiting room. However, most people had on those hidden smiles.

Have you ever noticed that when you wait for a long time with a group of strangers, you always want to ask:

"So who are you waiting for and what's wrong with them?"

But you don't......because......well that would be rude.

So the giants provided an alternative distraction.

I must say though, when the surgeon was ready to speak to the family.......we all became instantly sober. We were lead into this tiny little room and told to sit down. My poor Dad's face went whiter that a sheet. The doc asked if we were all family.....and the rest of us went whiter than sheets too. Quicky realizing that an entire tiny room full of giants were about to faint (which, btw, is a family trait ~we're fainters) the oncologist reassured us all that mom was fine and the surgery went really well. The news was wonderful. We all cheered!

Upon exiting the news room, those still in the waiting room looked up with big smiles at us. They must have heard us cheering.

"Good news?" they asked.

"Yes!" we announced in relieved unison. "Starbucks anyone?"

October 4th ~ Mom made it through the Rain

Mom;s surgery went well. My deepest thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers and good vibes!

More later....back to the hospital for me..

October 3rd ~ Totally Radical

Today's the day.

Mom's birthday....and the date of her radical hysterectomy.

I hope they get everything.

I'm trying not to freak out. It's hard to keep morbid thoughts out of my brain when I'm worried. :(

They take everything......uterus, ovaries, tubes, lymph nodes, cervix, other things and biopsy surrounding areas. Have you ever cooked a frozen turkey and had to shake out the guts first? Like that.

My sister told Mom, "Just don't let them take your G-Spot!" Mom cracked up.

See why I love my sister?