November 30th ~ Uniform Appeal

WARNING: THIS is a fluff piece. Don't read if you're in the mood for meaty subject matter :)

Many of you who read this blog are writers in one form or another. This is such a freeing forum. I love reading your individual styles....and expressions.

I was thinking about a conversation I had semi-recently with a dear friend of mine who is a writer and has just finished her first novel. I love the way she writes, and she was complimenting my style....and I told her confidentially that the only fiction I've ever written is pornographic. So far I haven't posted it anywhere. lol

What made me think about this conversation was seeing a particular a woman leaving Starbucks yesterday. She was about 50, had her shoulder length reddish hair in two pigtails, was wearing white knee-socks and black mary-janes. She had on a very short plaid skirt and white blouse.....that smacked of a Catholic School Uniform...and over the top of that she was wearing a short, shiney, red, rain slicker. She walked out of Starbucks with her coffee...glanced at me....and I instantly recognized the sexual game she was playing. And she knew I knew. It was either roleplay, or she is in a BDSM relationship of some form...but it brought a smile to my face. Her bravery for wearing this outfit in public appealed to me. I think it was the "fun" of it that got to me. What a day she must be having. How non-mundane! lol

It made me feel like writing her story.

I just may do that.

Hubby is a very private person, so our intimate moments and expressions are kept behind closed doors (although I do have a publically erotic sense of humor that he enjoys)....but I wonder if we were in a community where no one knew us.....would we take our erotic forms of play into a more semi-public, but still relatively private arena? Would we want to? I suspect I would....and he wouldn't....but he surprises me constantly ...and overwhelms my senses often and when I least expect it...so who knows? :)

November 24th ~ Gobble Gobble putt putt

I love Thanksgiving.

It has always been one of my favorite holidays.

The gathering together of family for a traditional meal brings back memories of my childhood and mixes with the traditions we are trying to pass on to our own children.

I woke up this morning thinking of the many Thanksgivings I spent as a kid with my family at my paternal grandparent's house. My grandfather passed away a couple of years ago. My grandmother passed away at the beginning of this year. I found myself really missing both of them today.

They weren't easy people. But they were characters and lovable in their own unique ways.

Our Thanksgiving trip to Grandma's house was like a trip to the country. They thought of us as "city people". The small town they lived in always smelled of burning leaves at this time of year....a smell I love to this day. Their house was always a little too hot and had a little too much dog hair on the couch, but it was welcoming and smelled of almond press cookies and roasting turkey and bacon.

My grandfather was missing some fingers from a machine accident when he was a young man. He loved to eat what he called "The Pope's Nose" (aka the tailbone) of the turkey. After the entire family participated in saying a sweet, sometimes emotional, always touching, prayer of thanks ~ we could looked to the head of the table and see my grandfather enjoying the "Pope's Nose". His finger nubs covered with grease, turkey butt in his mouth, false teeth barely fitting, he'd begin his annual retelling of "God DAMN Black and Decker!" Suddenly we felt like "city people". lol

Apparently, Black and Decker didn't send him a rebate on a power tool many, many, years ago. He carried the grudge to his grave. Although, I think that the annual retelling of that story may have been for our benefit more than a true grudge he held. We would all get hysterical with laughter at his tirade.

I miss him.

My grandmother was one of those people who would say whatever was on her mind. "Wow you sure have gotten fat, havent you?" And she could never remember the names of our spouses when we grandkids got married. But she was full of life. She loved to swim and go places and do things and she was wild for my Mom's macaroni salad. Grandma was still getting in her car and driving the 4 hours to visit us into her 80's. She had a remarkable zest for life.

When visiting us, Grandma would sit down to eat and proclaim "Num Num Num Num!" loudly before digging into her meal. Her false teeth weren't a good fit either...so between the "Num num nums" and the teeth clacking, it was hard to not get the giggles.

I miss her too, especially today.

As kids, a big tradition after the Thanksgiving meal was to go on a "fart walk." We'd walk, laugh and "rip 'em"...trying to outdo each other. Tonight we had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my side of the family. We all gathered at my brother's house. After dinner the dads took all of the kids on a "fart walk". My brother's house was so peaceful with all of our kids gone! The adults who stayed cleaned up the dishes and talked. I finally realized why we'd gone on fart walks as kids! It got all of us loud, active, children out of Grandma's house for a little while so the adults could enjoy a moment of peacfulness. lol


Happy Thanksgiving :)

November 18th ~ Flipped Off

So, I've been trying to change my lifestyle to include a regular does of daily exercise. (AKA the "e" word)

I have defective knees, so my options are limited. I thought about prostitution for fitness.....because...well, hey, I'm quite graceful on my back and I can get a good workout in that way.... But then I started to think about the next PTA meeting....(sigh) How would I explain?

Anyway....so I walk....but not all that consistently...

My dear friend, D, who is VERY fit and VERY active and walks at a rate of about 300mph, has been bugging me to try this pool where she swims laps.

It's expensive.....and even though I love swimming...I went with her the first time mostly just to get her off of my back. I didn't expect to fall in love.

I used to be a lifeguard and a swim instructor when I was in my teens, but I'm out of shape and it's been a LONG time.

I slipped into the pool, looked up at the sky, and began swimming. I was hooked! After that first swim with D, I went home discovered an unexpected pay bonus in my mailbox. It must have been meant to be. This bonus will pay for 6 months worth of swimming.

I've been swimming about 4 days per week....until this week. This week I had appointments that I couldn't change with the kids' doctors on Monday and Tuesday. (There are limited swim hours each day.) So I finally made it to the pool on Wednesday. I did my laps....and felt stronger than I had the week before so I pushed myself a little.

And THEN I noticed this woman next to me swimming so gracefully and doing underwater flip turns at the end of each lap....

Well.........sheeeeeesh.....I can do that. Right? I've never been on a swim team...but I used to be a strong swimmer....what's a little flip turn?

Hmmmm I couldn't do it correctly. I tried about 20 times. Oh well...I gave up for now figuring I could practice again next time.

I showered, left the pool facility, and went shopping at Target and found myself frozen in place in the middle of the store due to sudden, severe, lower back pain.

ARGGGGGH!! I limped and whimpered my way back to the car, dragged myself into the seat tried to drive home without crying. I've been on Motrin and muscle relaxers and the occasional vicoden ever since! But at least I know what caused it. No flip turns for me.

At least not until I build up my strength. I guess I'll put off the high dive for awhile too....

November 10th ~ It's so big!

(grin) Someone sent me this pic of new wallpaper in a men's room. It just makes me happy. lol Thought I'd share it with you. I keep trying to think of what the wallpaper would look like in the Woman's Room at this establishment...

November 9th ~ Happy Birthday Gina

Happy Birthday Gina!!!
I don't know why this printed twice LOL and I can't erase the second picture because the normal ways don't work! LOL SO Happy B-Day again!

November 4th ~ Along Came a Spider

It's funny, I haven't posted for awhile mostly because I have too much to say....and on different topics....so I couldn't think of a way to organize it. And then I realized: This is a BLOG, dammit! I can do whatever I want! Organized, Schmorganized!

First, let me take you back to Halloween:

(blurry screen fade........return picture to a dark street of 16 houses lit with jack-o-lanterns)

NO NO NO....before that!

(blurry screen fade......return picture to 7:25am October 31st)

"I decided I want to wear a costume to school, Mom," said my 7th grader. (Note: I'm going to look like a push-over in this next section, but really I'm not. I just try to let them have a little creative freedom . Unfortunately, with freedom of expression comes chaos. lol)

"But your ride will be here in 5 minutes! What are you going to be?"

"Can you just do my face with make-up?" he asks.

"Ok..but let's hurry!!!!"

So I frantically make him scary looking........he leaves....hasn't had breakfast....arghh.

7:40am Calling out to my 6 yr old daughter, "Do you have your Dorothy costume on?"

"No, I want to be a lamb!" (The lamb costume is a lamb furry type thing we've had in the dress-up box since she was about 2)

"But honey, Dorothy is such a great costume and next year those ruby slippers won't fit you!"

"Mom PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE..I don't want to be Dorothy! I want to be a cute lamb! Can you make my face all white like a lamb?"

"Ok....."

She looks in the mirror and bursts into tears. "I look like a clown! I look scary!"

Wipe-off wipe-off wipe-off wipe-off ...white make-up now all over me.... "Ok, how about just a black nose and pink lips and sparkles on your cheeks?"

"Ok, Mommy."

7:55am My 6th Grader: "Mom, I can't wear this mask to school...it'll be too hot! Can you do my face instead?"

We have to leave in 5 minutes.

Suddenly I feel the need to breathe into a paper bag...

"Ok...if we do it quickly! Get your shoes on! MissM put your lunch in your backpack!... Ok..Now what am I making you up as?"

"A dead kid."

"A dead kid?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't that kind of digusting?"

"Mom! It's Halloween!"

"Arrrrgh ok...."

So he wore normal clothes....and I made his face ashen...with blue-ish lips.... He looked horrible. He loved it.


(blurry screen fade.............return picture to 4:00pma warm and inviting kitchen filled with12-14 adult friends and the smell of spicy comfort foods...and their kids in costumes streaming in and out, laughing, playing and eating.)

My friend LisRay has this wonderful, annual, "pre-trick-or-treating" dinner party. Everyone gathers in the late afternoon, eats wonderful food, and leaves shortly after dark. She always thinks that this is the last year she is doing it...because I'm sure it's a ton of work. Not only all of the wonderful food she prepares, and getting her house ready...but she makes fun, interesting, gift bags for each family to take home with them. So LisRay, we'll be there next year! :) Just you TRY getting out of it. :) lol It's as fun as your Mardi Gras party!

(Blurry screen fade............back to that dark street of 16 houses lit with jack-o-lanterns)

And now we return to the focus of my blog brewing of the last few days...

My neighbor across the street has the hots for my hubby. L is happily married, but she had recently lost a lot of weight, and she is a big flirt. This doesn't bother me. I'm flirty with friends whom I feel safe with...and who FULLY know I'm all playful talk (except with hubby..lol)....I'd never take it further than that. Plus I talk in general flirt terms referring to moments with hubby. I never direct it to desire for another man. My husband, R, is fun to flirt with because he get flustered, or speechless fairly easily. I think he enjoys her attentions. She flirts with me too. It's fine. It's funny. However.....oddly enough....on Halloween strange things happen.... my "comfort level" gets pushed.

L LOVES halloween. Her entire house is decked out. She spends a huge amount of money on costumes for herself and her kids. Her husband just helps her decorate and watches events unfold indulgently. Anyway, when L was heavier, her costumes were more Renaissance or Goth in nature. Last year she was an extremely sexy French Maid, dusting the concrete steps of my front porch whenever she thought my hubby might be near. I laughed. It was cute and funny.

THIS YEAR, she dressed as Little Miss Muffett....and OH what a tuffett! The top portion of her short pink gingham dress was like a thin white peasant blouse....she wore no bra. The petticoats poofed the skirt out so provacatively that all she had to do was cough, and her little ruffled panties were exposed. As soon as we drove up from the dinner party, she called R over to her front yard to show him. Her husband was there. This was all out in the open....but her flirting was outrageous...very "directed" at R.

Anyway, I played it normally. But it was hard to not stare at her nipples even for me. lol I think R was a little taken aback. He could feel the shift from
light-hearted, racy, flirting, to full-blown "I want to give you a blow job right here on the lawn in front of my husband" flirting. R left with the kids to take them Trick-or-treating....and I stayed home passing out candy to 250 kids (not exaggerating)...and visited with L in the middle of the street between mobs of kids at our door. As I watched her aim her do-me-now-you-know-you-want-me focus at every unsuspecting father out with his kids that passed by.....I began to relax.

But even now...my eyes are open a little wider....just in case I need to be that spider who frightens Miss Muffett away.